An open letter to roller derby.

The W.C. is probably going to wax philosophical on this one, so maybe get a snack, people.

I’m going to talk for a minute about writing this blog and what it has come to mean to me. The journey has been…unexpected.  It won’t be particularly insightful, but it is personal, so it’s up to you if you want to keep reading. (Not like, “You should probably get tested” personal. More like Bridget Jones Diary personal.)

I started this blog not really knowing what to expect. In my tiny little crusted over heart of hearts I dared to hope that somebody would like it, but I honestly didn’t expect anything spectacular. I wanted to write it because I wanted to be more connected to the roller derby community that flutters about TXRD like a tattooed cloud of butterflies with laser eyes and razor wings. And since I’m a dude and skating was out of the question, my next best option was writing about it. So I sat down at my little keyboard and clattered out my first bout write up.

“Well,” I said to myself. “I guess I should see if they like it.” So I sent off an email to the TXRD internet gatekeeper and waited. Immediately after that I was talking myself down from any kind of expectations. They probably wouldn’t even respond. They probably get all kinds of ridiculous emails from fans, and mine would just fade into the background of white-noise-from-crazy-people that permeates the internet superhighway.

But then I got an email.

Gasp! Dare I hope that they liked it? This could become a whole thing! I could get to be the official press-guy (or whatever) of TXRD. This could be awesome. I could be in! My trembling little digits stretched out to the “open” button, hope and anticipation lay just beyond my inbox.

And they rejected me.

Sort of. Basically, they liked what I wrote (by all indications a lot, thanks Cooter) but because I wasn’t in the league, they couldn’t publish any of my writing. (…so just make me a league member, right guys?…) But I get it. And just getting a response at all was a nice nugget of validation (thanks again Cooter).

Disappointed, but not discouraged, I figured, “Well, you were going to write these anyway. Just put them up on a blog and see if anyone else wants to read them.” So I put it all out there for anyone to read and waited to see if anybody even noticed that I was there.  Immediately I was talking myself down from any kind of expectations. They probably wouldn’t even respond. They probably get all kinds of ridiculousOHMYGLOB somebody actually read the blog! They read it, and they liked it, and my crusty little heart grew three sizes that day. (For those of you keeping track (and I don’t know why you would) that puts it at about a 00, so don’t get too exited.)

The response to the blog has been overwhelmingly positive. Surprisingly positive. So many skaters have been supportive and encouraging: Lyka Boss, Train Wreck Trina, Milla Juke-a-bitch, Prissy Galore, Break n Bake, the lovely and talented Kramer (I assume he’s lovely, all I ever see is a reflection off his shiny dome), and so many others that I can’t possibly name them all. And to each one of them, and to everyone who took the time to read the ramblings of some random guy on the internet: thank you. Thank you for making it seem that the silly things we do matter. Thank you for including me in your playground game of hop-scotch, even if it’s just to let me draw the numbers in the boxes. It meant more to me that I realized it would to be connected to something so special, and to be accepted (sort of) as one of the group.

You see, I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was reaching out. For a variety of reasons (that I won’t go into here) I was at something of a low point. Without realizing it I was reaching out to the sea of humanity, via a mutual love of roller derby, and hoping for a response that would pull back the veil and let everyone see my face again. And the great thing was, you were all there to greet me.

Any questions? Oh, there seriously are questions. Okay, shoot.

Are you going to keep doing this next season?

Maybe. I dunno yet. It’s an awful lot of work. I guess it kind of depend on if TXRD asked me to. Everyone wants to feel wanted. You know? Maybe TXRD will make me an honorary member or something. That would be cool….*cough*hint.

How much time do you spend on these blog entries?

About four or five hours for the actual writing. I’m not a professional writer or anything like that, so I have no idea if that’s good, or if I’m seriously putting in too much effort on these things.

How come  you don’t tell anyone who you are in real life?

There’s a couple of parts to that: 1) I have my fair share of crazy ex-girlfriends (and other assorted crazy family members for that matter) that I seriously don’t need internet stalking me. 2) Mrs. the W.C. was aiming to get into the TXRD league and I didn’t want anything that came out of my smart-assed mouth to adversely affect the way people look at her. I do have some measure of humanity in me. Somewhere. In the back corner, maybe.

Has anyone figured out who you really are?

Yes. One person did. Train Wreck Trina figured it out. I guess that’s why the call her “Dr. Train Wreck”.

Are you going to tell people who you are now?

Pft! Nah. I’m like, committed to the persona now, and shit. I mean, I’m not hiding. I’m just not broadcasting it. If that makes sense.

If you love derby so much, why not join the men’s league?

No…Derby’s something special for the ladies. Men don’t have to do everything that women can do. Some things are special just for girls.

If you love derby so much, why don’t you ref?

Like I said before, Mrs. the W.C. was trying to get into the league that would cause a conflict of interest. Plus, then I wouldn’t get to do the post-bout analysis’s. Analasisees. Analasiseses. I don’t know what the plural of analysis is.

If you love derby so much why don’t you announce or something?

Because no one asked me to. Plus, I swear, like a LOT. Not sure I could check that when the mikes are hot. Might as well call my announcing the “F-bomb hour”.

How much money do you make off this blog?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…Ha ha ha ha ha ha…oh…Wait, you were serious? Why? Do you want to give me some money? Because I’ll totally take any money you’re currently not overly attached to.

What do you think about when you go to bed at night?

Mostly I try not to worry about vanishing in my sleep.

Well, that’s it. Once again, I thank you for reading. If you like it, tell your friends. I could use more clicks and likes and thumbs and candy. Definitely candy. Unless candy means something different on the internet, like nips or something. In which case I could also use those. For research purposes.

Did he just lead a labor revolt in a textile factory?

 

Maybe I’ll see you around the ring some time. That’s all from the W.C.!