Fire meets Fireworks

CBvPDF07262016

A pre-bout analysis for the Putas del Fuego vs. the Cherry Bombs.

This is it, ladies. The season is half over and it’s time to plant your skate on the track and secure your legacy for the 2016 season. Up next we have two teams that are firmly in the middle of the pack this season, and they’re looking to stake a claim on the playoffs as the Putas del Fuego take on the Cherry Bombs. Who will take one step closer to the playoffs and who will be left to fight it out with the rest of the league? Lets see what each team brings to the table.

First up: the Bombs. The Bombs continue to perform well this season. They have depth at the jammer position with Milla Juka-a-Bitch, Ninja Please and Rocky Casbah. Plus the recent addition of Joliet Jane (the artist formerly known as Bambi Blow) has only made their ability to score points that much more threatening. And their core of blockers are no slouches, either. Under the leadership of Train Wreck Trina, they’ve got the heavy hitters to keep opponents in check with the likes of Rolla Parks and Zara Problem knocking players around like Barry Bonds in a pinata factory. (That was a baseball reference for everyone’s dad who reads this.)

And then there’s the Putas. With a legacy of punishment, they’re a well rounded threat for any opponent. With the speed and muscle of Lyka Boss and Smitey Mouse, and the hard hitting of pack regulars like Bidi Bidi Boom Boom and Putahontas, they know how to (and frequently do) bring the pain to the banked track. (In fact, I’m pretty sure that when they’re not practicing they’re out giving indian-burns and pink-bellies to football players. My point is, these girls are mean.) This will, however, be their first outing without the solid foundation of Sabataj. Will her presence be missed? You bet. Will the Putas game suffer because of it? That’s yet to be seen.

Which of these teams will come out on top? Either one of them can give their opponents a bad day on the track. If I go with my gut, it’s the Cherry Bombs. But I wouldn’t put money on it. The Putas are more than capable of not only bringing the can of whoop-ass, but shotgunning it, crushing it on their forehead, and throwing it right in your face. Guess we’ll all just have to take a trip to the Thunderdome this Saturday to see how it all falls out!

That’s all for now from the W.C.. Thanks for reading, and a special thanks to Jeffrey McMillan for letting me hack up his photos.

Don’t forget to like and follow and send cake.

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