In the spirit of the season, the W.C. offers you this: (Click here for awesomeness). It doesn’t exactly have anything to do with derby. I guess you could change it to “skating outside”? I’m grasping at straws here, people. Just click on the link. (Or don’t. I’m not the boss of you.) Also, you’re welcome. Also, sing this at the top of your lungs at work tomorrow or the May Day Woodpecker won’t bring you any edible lotions in your banana hammock.
Jonathan Colton is the musical genius who gifted this song to the world, by the way.