Kitty’s Got Claws

Hellcats vs. Holly Rollers at the TXRD Season Opener
      The 2016 season opener kicked off with a bang as the Holly Rollers took to the track to battle it out with a newly revamped Hellcats team. The Rollers were hoping for a strong outing in their first bout since their disappointing finish last year when they watched a playoff berth slip through their fingers. On the other side of the track, the Hellcats are trying to recover from an abysmal 2015 season that left them last place in the league. With both teams rolling into the Thunderdome with chips firmly in place on shoulders, it promised to be an exciting bout.
      It was a rocky start with the first two jams stalling the action with major penalties, but after that the Hellcats were impressive early with their newly drafted jammer, Hanthrax, and promising new Hired Gun, Break N Bake, cutting through the Holly Rollers defense like a greased pig on a water-slide to put up an early lead. The Rollers looked to be caught flat footed by the Kitty’s tenacity and by the end of the first quarter they were down 24 to 4 with their jammers Bible Thumper and Hermione Danger taking some hard licks and looking a little roughed up.
      Things would continue to be rocky for the Holly Rollers as they failed to capitalize on opportunities (including a jam that had two Hellcats in the penalty box but in which Rollers Jammer Boi Division is shut out and Roxy Revolver handily takes more points back to the Kitties sandbox). But suddenly the girls in plaid showed the skills that gave them a winning record last season when Thumper scored eight points on a jammer panty-pass and decided to celebrate by counting out the points she just earned with her fists on Glitterotica’s face. After the tussle on turn one was broken up and the half ended, the Rollers still had a beefy deficit to overcome with the score at 51 to 17, still in the Cats favor.
      Coming back from the break, the Holly Rollers blocking scheme went from disorganized to downright sloppy with Hellcat Jammit Janet showing that she deserves her name by picking apart the Rollers for point after point while the Cats blockers continued to manhandle the opposition wherever they wanted.
      Heading into a fourth quarter that had the Hellcats up by 36 points, the Rollers jammers, Prissy Galore and Hermione Danger showed the Cats what a veteran should look like when they finally hit their rhythm, winning jams and taking points back one at a time. In the end, though, a nickel-and-dime gain would not be enough to save the Rollers from damnation, and the Kitties purred happily to a 77 to 45 victory.
      Coming into this new season, the Cats have clearly put in the time with their new manager, Neil B4 Zod, to give themselves some much-needed structure. If last night’s showing was any indication, this could pay off in an end-of-the season playoff run. On the other side of the track, the Rollers had a rough outing, and one can only wonder if the absence of veteran leaders (like the now retired Lacy Bones) may have set the team back more than they realized.
      Thanks for reading and look for more from the W.C. right here on Skates and Scars!

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